Words for Pastor’s Wives: You Be You!
Recently, a pastor’s wife contacted me via Facebook. She and her husband are about to enter their first Senior Pastor position. She asked for words of wisdom on filling this new role. So, this inspired me to write a series of blog posts to help pastor’s wives navigate their roles in the church. This is Part 1, so here goes….
There can’t be anything more agonizing than pretending to be something you are not. It takes so much time, energy, and effort to be someone other than you. Yet, at one time or another every pastor’s wife feels like she cannot be herself.
But that is simply not true. God creates each us with distinctive personalities, uniqueness and talents. Why would God create us in His image only to be pressed into a mold of someone else? The best gift you can give your local church is to simply Be You!
Don’t look behind you: Just because the former pastor’s wife did a certain thing doesn’t mean you have to. After all, she is gifted with a different set of talents and life experiences than you. Celebrating the impact of her ministry does not mean you have to fill her role. Give yourself permission to minister in a different way than she.
Glance beside you: We all have women who serve as contemporary role models. Having inspiring women around us is important, but don’t fall into the trap that you have to look like her, act like her, or copy what she does. I fall prey to the copycat syndrome. I see so many amazing women of God accomplishing so much. Their life seems exciting as they travel, speak and tweet about all the interesting people they meet. Meanwhile, I am at home struggling to potty train my two year old. Most of these women are in different seasons of life. Their children are grown. For me to copy their ministry would be disastrous. I can learn from them. They can inspire me. But, I cannot copy who they are nor can I perform the assignments God has given them.
Look to God: God is a giving God. One of His favorite things to do is to bless His creation. Not only does He bestow each of us with varying gifts, but He also gives us specific opportunities to utilize those gifts. It would make no sense to have gifts but no way to use them. Ask God to show you how to use your gifts.
By combining your gifts with ministry opportunities, you’ll be You!
So, Pastor’s Wives what’s the most freeing thing about just being YOU?
Thanks Heather, such truth here! I also struggle with the copy-cat syndrome…I so desire to be used of God in such big ways that I lose sight of the fact that He’s using me in Big ways to shape and mold two human beings and support an amazing man. I need to read this on a weekly basis! Love you friend, thankful for your wisdom!
Angie, thanks for the encouragement! And you are so right, we are both making a huge contribution to this world by parenting and raising our little ones! And in about 2 months, you will be in a new role at your church plant. God is going to use your gifts and experiences from Saddleback in amazing ways. Can’t wait to see what God does!
Thank you for this great post! It is a great encouragement. I am a fairly new PW and sometimes it gets a bit stressful with expectations of other people and trying to just be “you.” I pray that I can be true to who God wants me to be.
Thanks Jaclyn for stopping by! Congrats on being a new PW….you are going to love discovering how to fill this role while using the gifts God has given you. God Bless!
Thanks Heather for the reminder to not look behind and to always look to our Creator! You are awesome! Love ya! Diane
Thanks for stopping by Diane! I am looking forward to seeing you in June. Been promoting the CJ online event. I know it will be awesome.
great words, Heather… for all of us who tend to contrast and compare our roles or lives with others! thanks mucho!