I shared a post by Michael Hyatt on my Facebook wall last week. The post entitled, Why Speaking Well of Your Spouse is So Important drew great comments from my female friends. So, I knew the topic of honoring your spouse with kind words must have struck a cord. I wholeheartedly agree with Hyatt’s post. It is important–if not imperative–that we speak words of grace and blessing to our spouse.
This got me to thinking about the roles my husband and I have in ministry. Hyatt’s post helped me realize as much I as I try–or even assume I am doing a good job– on this front, there is always room for improvement. I mean really, can a pastor hear too many times that he is appreciated and respected for his leadership?
So, to Pastor’s Wives out there, I’ve compiled my own set of reasons why YOU must be speaking well of your husband in public and offering words of affirmation in private.
1) You are the only one who fills the role of pastor’s wife.
Everyone in the church can be a member. Everyone can serve and give in order to encourage the growth of the church. There are lots of roles that need to be filled for a church to be healthy. But, you are the only one who fills the role of the pastor’s wife. Trust me, it is your affirmation he seeks and he needs the most! He does want to be encouraged by people in the church. He does like to be noticed by his peers for leadership abilities, creativity, and his preaching among other things. But, it is the respect of his wife that he longs for. After all ladies, he is a man. And that is how God created him.
2) If you don’t make the time, no one else will.
People live busy, hectic lives. I don’t think people neglect to encourage the pastor out of spite or because they disagree with his vision, as much as I think people just forget. After wrestling the kids out the front door on Sunday morning and then rushing out the church doors after service to make sure the crock pot dinner hasn’t burned the house down, people are just plain hurried. We are all guilty of foregoing some of the civilities of life simply because we lack time. Don’t assume that others will make the time to speak blessings into your husband’s life. You must do that.
3) His calling needs to be affirmed.
Pastors have a divine calling from God on their lives. His profession is different than most every other profession. Bankers, plumbers, doctors, painters, lawyers, educators, mail clerks, and entrepreneurs all have important jobs. We need each of these types of jobs for our communities to function. But a pastor’s job impacts eternity. Many pastors give up personal dreams and lucrative career opportunities to step into roles that impact God’s global kingdom for all of eternity. Affirm him for that!
4) Others follow your lead.
Every pastor’s wife is a leader. No matter whether you feel like one or not. No matter whether you sing in the choir, lead a ministry, work in the church office, or simply show up with a smile on your face you have the ability to influence people. That’s called being a leader. Your verbal and non-verbal communication speaks volumes. You may think people aren’t listening, but they are. And, if for no other reason than for the sake of your children, praise your husband in their presence. You will impact their world dramatically. Your affirming words will produce security in their lives. They will see parents that love and support each other. Your children will follow your lead!
Pastor’s wives, let me hear from you. Why do you think it is important to speak well of your husband? If you have time, make sure you check out Hyatt’s excellent post as well!